Who doesn't need a house help?

Like many women, after each child was born, we were torn between the desire to be the best mom for our children and the wish to continue to progress with our career life.

But with three little kids whose lives I wanted to be part of, I couldn't see any way to continue on the same career path I had been on when I was still single. I needed a job that would not only challenge and keep me engaged mentally, but would also let me get to my kids' school activities, and where I wouldn't be causing any crisis if I needed to stay home with a sick child.

Working from home seemed to be one of the best alternatives. But finding balance while dealing with work and trying to attend to children's needs was going to be difficult also.

Aside from taking care of our children, our spouse, and our home, we also have our own needs - for exercise, companionship, relaxation, rest, and self-care. And we simply cannot do everything...

Hiring a housekeeper to delegate some of our housework is a way to manage our time more efficiently and it can be affordable, even for those on a tight budget.  It is really hard to find the time or energy for family outings and hubby date nights when we spend our time cooking, cleaning, and taking care of our children. If our schedule is already overwhelming, keeping our house in order becomes a daunting task that can take a toll on our marriage, as well as our health.

Even the best CEO's delegates.  Let's learn how to do that at home and at work, and we'll be a happy woman. The best bosses in the world know how to help their staff take over tasks that they are capable of doing or capable of learning how to do. We can provide the support and encouragement that makes it possible for our staff to grow and develop skills - and ultimately to take over the work.

Whether we are busy with our family and our career, or just want some occasional house help, getting a helper is not only practical, it's a lifesaver.   With little kids, and with part-time work from home--  who doesn't need a house help?

I had a miscarriaged

Having a miscarriage, even at a very early stage in pregnancy, is traumatic. Guilt compound my misery - seems like a miscarriage is my fault that everything I did and ate had caused the miscarriage... My case is missed abortion, the fetus dies and is not spontaneously expelled so I had to undergone dilation and curettage. It was one of the difficult times of our lives, it was a planned pregnancy and we saw it developing through ultrasound until it was 8 weeks old when the doctor told us the bad news.

I allowed myself to grieve, I was never over it until after 4 months after when I learned that I am pregnant again. Although, the fear of miscarriage keeps my joy guarded, I can not deny the fact that getting pregnant again as soon as it is safe is possibly the best therapy I had.

Some expectant women like me refrain from spreading the happy news until the fourth month, when we begin to feel secure that the pregnancy will indeed continue. But I have learned that though its hard for parents to accept it at the time, when a miscarriage does occur it is usually a blessing. Early miscarriage is generally a natural selection process in which a defective fetus is discarded, probably because it is incapable of survival or is overwhelmingly defective. Most women who have had one miscarriage do not become habitual aborters. In fact a miscarriage is an assurance of fertility, and the great majority of women who lose a pregnancy this way go on to complete one.

My doctor suggest waiting three to six months before trying to conceive again. I took advantage of this waiting period - I spend it improving my diet and health habits, hoping that this time around I'll have normal pregnancy and a healthy baby. I am on my third month and counting and crossing fingers and leaving it all to Him...

The secret of success is "Hardwork"

One Sunday evening while I am doing my son’s pointers for review on their upcoming Periodical Exam, I am watching a special show in ABS-CBN entitled " Walang Iwanan" (Don't Leave). The show featured the stories ofwell-known business tycoons in the Philippines namely Lola Socorro Ramos of National Bookstore. Henry Sy of SM, BDO,China Bank. Lance Gokongwei of URC, Cebu Pacific, Robinson, Sun Cellular. Lucio Tan of Fortune Tobacco, PAL, Allied Bank.Manny Pangilinan of PLDT and Smart, Dr. Pedro of Lamoyan Industries maker of Happy Toothpaste, Raul Concepcion of RFM and Oscar Lopez of Meralco and ABS-CBN.

From this mentioned business tycoons, the one that inspired me a lot is that of Lola Socorro’s story. She was born out of silver spoon and has finished only High School in a public school and was not able to take up college due to financial hard up of the Family. She worked as a sales lady at her uncle’s bookstore “Goodwill”. While working she finds time to learn the ins and outs of the business until she got married and taught of putting their own bookstore and they named this “National Bookstore” The very first National Bookstore was established in the late 1930’s in Escolta, Manila as a small stall selling school supplies and textbooks.

When the business was starting to be made-well known to the people, the Japanese Government invaded our country. During this time the Japanese Government has many strict rules to be followed and one of these is Filipinos were not allowed to sell and patronize products made or that came from the USA.

Lola Socorro and husband have no choice but to follow rules and have kept all their books and school supplies and displayed only slippers. Though the signage of “National Bookstore” was still there they continue to open the business.

At the end of the Japanese Occupation the whole Escolta area in Manila was burned and the store was destroyed The Cancio-Ramos family, the owners, were able to rebuild National Bookstore at the corner of Avenida (now Rizal Avenue) and Soler. National Bookstore was able to recover due to the post-war boom selling school supplies, mostly books and Stationary. After this the Family faced yet another disaster. Typhoon Gene strucked the Philippines and destroyed the store and all of their merchandise were soaked but the Family didn’t lose hopes and have reconstructed another building that would serve as their base operation and the rest is history.

Today, National Bookstore is the largest bookstore chain in the Philippines with more than 90 branches nationwide. It also continues its corporate social responsibility through its foundation where they build a Library for the children of school aged and thus donating books to some public schools.

When asked of her secret, she says... “Hard Work” is the secret of the success of National Bookstore.

Joke time

One sunny Sunday, a six-year old boy was brought to a store by his parents to buy him a watch for he is always reminding them to buy him one. He likes to learn on how to check the time for they are being taught in school. The boy have picked one of the watches on displayed and the sales lady demonstrated the features to him: This is the hour hand, the minute hand, and this is the second hand. With that, the boy’s face fell., and said Mommy why
“ Secondhand” I thought we were buying a new one”.(lol)..

Bonding Time: Storytelling

My 6-year- old son loves story telling. This is our bonding time during weekends when I have no work and would just stay in the house. I do find an hour or two to sit down with him and create a simple story. He loves to hear about my childhood experiences, how my husband and me met as well as finding out about him.

Recently I was puzzled when he ask me “ How did I met his father” It took me awhile to realize that I have once told him of a story that I’ve met his Dad when I arrived in the city way back 1989 and that he was the one whom I have asked some informations of the whereabouts of my mother who is working on the same building where he works. I would showed him an album where pictures of his Dad and me were engaged and tell short story in every picture.

Parents are encouraged to read their kids. Telling stories does not require special skills or a powerful imagination. It simply demands using your memory. I remember the teacher who was not hired as kindergarten teacher maybe due to her lack of memory and was not able to tell even a short story to the children (hehe..)

Children are hunger to hear about so many things about their parents. They want to hear also all our "firsts" like the first time we went to school, if we behave or always being scolded by our teachers due to our naughtiness.

Oral storytelling can really makes a difference. Start this early with your child. Here are some tips on storytelling that I have read in one of the articles in Parenting.

1. Keep the storyline simple and short
2. Use a lot of detail – “ I wore a red blouse”, etc..
3. Be prepared to answer questions. Children have lots of questions and we must be prepared to answer this.
4. Don’t worry about using words with which children are not familiar. Just be ready to explain this.
5. Always give a clear ending.
6. It doesn’t need to contain lesson. It’s enough for children to feel part of something real.
7. It needn’t be a big event- how you lost a favorite toy or handled a scary situation is great.
8. A photo album is a wonderful prop for getting started of your story telling.

Perfect Relationship?

One day a man visited a match-making agency for marriage, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The agency officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

Blame it on the rain

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."

It's never good to blame our partner for the wrong things that happened , instead blame it on the rain, accept the outcome, and focus on the positive side. Talking it over will always help fixed the problem.

What you said will matter...

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,"Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me.Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered ,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other,we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.

Trust

Trust is a very important factor for all relationships especially for married couples. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

One day a taxi operator received a phone call. She answered, "Holiday Taxi" There was silence. She repeated, "Holiday Taxi" There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is Holiday Taxi. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the taxi operator answered with just "hello" instead of "Holiday Taxi".

Patience

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide. Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge.

Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.

People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

Force Feeding

My child is such a picky eater that we sometimes resort to force-feeding. Is there a better way to make our child eat? Is there an appetite stimulant to make a child gain weight?

Force feeding method might be effective for a while, but it will not make our child healthy eater in the long run. An appetite stimulant should be recommended by our child's pediatrician, who can assess our child's actual need for it. Here are some recommended tips by an expert Mom:

• Prepare creative recipes. Mealtime can be a source of fun too! With a syrup or milk, put a happy face (smiley) on your hotcakes, topped with a slice of fruit. There are recipe books that specialize in this .
• Make sure our child rested before they eat. Tiredness can depress one's appetite.
• Keep toys away while they eat.
• Discourage snacking just before mealtime.
• Be a good example. A picky parent sends the wrong signals to the child.
• Create a friendly atmosphere. Avoid discussing negative matters or, having arguments at the dinner table.

Lets avoid power struggles which tend to promote pickiness. Instead, decide what food to offer and when. Let our child decide how much to eat.

Potty Training

Does your child shows signs of easily being disturbed and upset when his diaper is wet? Hiding at the back of the door and feeling very uneasy and shows in his actions, postures, gestures or facial expression that he wanted not to be disturbed and would like to go on a comfort place like, bathroom ? If yes, then these are some of the signs for you to start to potty or toilet train your child.

When my son shows these signs, I must admit at first I didn't feel so relax thinking how to start to educate him on his experience in acquiring a skill like this. When he has started to walk and has reached the age of 1 year and 6 months, I started to introduce colorful potty seats. During those times, we will go to the mall and bring him with us. Before buying our personal stuffs we would get first of his stuffs at the toddlers section. I will show him colorful potty seats and let him seat on it just like sitting on an ordinary comfy chair. I bought one for him and upon reaching in our house I sat on the potty seat and demonstrate how relaxing to sit on. I got some children's books to read. After awhile, he's pulling me to get off and he wants to sits on it and so I gave him some educational toys too. He then started to imitates my actions and sits on the potty while looking at the big and colorful pictures in the book and then playing with his toys.

My husband and I, have learned to have tons of patience as we go through this toilet training. We praised our son whenever he does right and reminds him always about using the potty. When he reaches the age of two, to our surprised we saw him inside the comfort room and sitting in his throne like a prince (lol) . He will call me for an assistance to hold him for he's still a little bit afraid that he might fall down.

To all Moms and Dad .....Be the Best Coach to your Child and The # 1 Super Fan . Always be there to support and guide them as they passed through this kind of experience.

Some ways to protect your child

Almost everyday we can hear in the news on TV and radio and can read in the newspapers that a child was kidnapped and abductors were asking ransom money before they will release the child and threatened parents to kill the child if they can’t raised the money. The worst scenario is what if the parents of the child have no money to release? What also if these kidnappers mistakenly have abducted your child? With this happening in our society, parents should be more cautious and should start to educate their children to be careful in talking to a stranger because they would not know if this stranger is a friend or foe.

I know that it is very difficult to talk and warn your child for he or she can’t still distinguish who are dangerous people and who are not. Whenever my child and I will go to public places I see to it that my attention is more focus in him. My child is so friendly to people that he can see and would even smiled and say Hello! or Hi!. One incident that had happened is when a teen-ager boy has approached us in our sit while eating in the mall. The boy sits with us and was showing me a paper to read. I read the paper and he was just informing that he’s a student and has no money to pay for his school. Although I did not believe him I still gave just a small amount of money so that he will just leave us. I stand up for awhile and get water to drink. When I got back to our sit the teen-ager boy is still around and was talking already to my kid and they were both laughing out loud and was so very friendly to my kid and so I immediately called my kid’s attention and explained to him that being friendly to other people is not bad but you should know that not all people are the so-called “friends”.

Here are some ways to protect your child

1.Teach your child to say “NO” if a stranger will approach and will invite to go with him. Immediately Go and Tell to a trusted adults.

2. When in school emphasize to your child never to get into someone’s car and wait until you arrive. It is better stay and wait inside the classroom.

3. Don’t leave your child unattended especially on public places e.g.. malls, parks, etc. Always accompany your child even in public toilets.

4. Have always a plan in case she or he gets lost. (e.g) when you’re in the mall or in any public places stay where you last saw your child. Have also a secret word that only the two of you know.

5. If your child is big enough, teach to ring the emergency number to ask help.

6. Put in your child’s wallet your card with your name, address and phone # on it. If he or she is still small sew it into his or her jacket.

Respectful Children

My husband and I wanted to have respectful children and we were not only interested in externally respectful behaviour. We didn't want our child to perform. We expected more than just kissing all of the grown-ups in the room. We wanted her to be respectful because it resided in her heart. To help children adopt this way of being takes commitment and much training.

I am just old enough to remember the days when children were respectful out of fear. When Mom gave that look you'd better shape up or else... I remember when it was unthinkable to be sassy or a smart alec.

Unfortunately, times have changed and discipline styles have been relaxed in order to allow our children freedom to express themselves. Those who have adopted these more relaxed parenting styles should not be surprised that their children do not naturally display respect. In fact, some parents actually think it's cute for their toddler to answer back and behave in a saucy manner. Should those parents be surprised when their middle schoolers behave appallingly? A sassy three-year old is an embarrassing seven-year-old. Left to their own devices, our children will be as selfish and disrespectful as we will allow.

Going back to basics is still the best.

Experts said that attitudes don't happen automatically. They take root when parents teach their children fundamental politeness - and we parents practice it ourselves! The bottom line is to create an atmosphere of mutual respect. If we can establish this to our kids' earliest years, they'll be less likely to rebel when they're older -and we will be much better prepared to handle the uprisings that inevitably come along.

One way to foster respectfulness in your child is to teach her to be sensitive to other people's feelings. Teasing is not allowed in our home. We try to be careful that our words won't hurt another's feelings. The old mantra sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me is nonsense. Words are powerful. Words can inspire and encourage or shame and destroy.

Most employees will stay at a lower paying job where they feel valued and respected over a higher paying one when they are treated poorly. If we add value to people, they add value to us. Teaching our children to respect others and themselves, we parents will not only be proud to bring them anywhere but we will be providing our needy world with great leaders. That is the kind of investment that yields the greatest returns.

Meddling In-Laws

I spend 6 hours yesterday as a confidante to a friend. Problem with her in laws. Len, a working mom, leaves her kids with her mother-in-law when she goes to work every day. While this arrangement eases her worries while she's at the office, the downside is -when she gets home her mother-in-law bosses her around as if she has no say in raising her own kids.

With extended families, there's one obvious advantage: more human resource available to ease the pressures and responsibilities of everyday living. Economic and psychological interdependence within the kin network is possible. Expenses can be shared and divided among the working members. Children can be looked after by other adults -reassured of their kids socialization, safety and protection. The disadvantage, however, would be more people to deal with. And when interactions do not work well, conflicts are bound to emerge.

I ask Len, Is there a reason for your mother in law to be so? If there is, is she really the cause of the problem? Instead of looking at it negatively, be tolerant and accepting towards them. If our well-intended gesture or comment is taken negatively, take it in stride to avoid conflict. If she is an overbearing and manipulative mother-in-law, who is usually overbearing to all and not just to the daughter-in-laws then I ask Len to tell her MIL how she feels. Using "I" statements and try not to blame or accuse. The basic idea here is to communicate what Len feels even if to give her MIL the recognition her MIL needs. Lack of communication exacerbate the in-law problems. One thing goes wrong and everybody gets on the defensive, making assumptions about each other. I ask her to let her husband abroad know whats going on and tell him how she feels. Sometimes in-laws motives and actions most probably come from deep-seated beliefs and behavior patterns than from something said or done. In short, don't take it personally.

Each family is unique because of the people that compose it. As such, there can really be no prescribed way of solving family rational problems. We have to find what works best for us. I am lucky with my in-laws, our communication is always open. They call us weekly just to check how we are doing and we do the same.

I guess the best solution here is to move on and find own's new place. After we have done our part and the disagreements still exist and are impairing our functioning, then its time to change tactics. Its not only preserving self-esteem, we also teach our family -independence and self-identity. If all else fails, perhaps on our own might be for the better.

Too much of good things

Cellphone has now become so vital to modern life giving us instant info and constant access to our family and friends. Infact, we have even given our kids their own to use. Scientists, however, are raising a cautionary hand on the excessive use of this technology, especially by children. We parents should ensure that our children do not overuse mobile phones because of their potential health risk, as counseled in a new study. Despite the hard proof, it would be wise to take precautionary approach to cellphone use, until all the health related doubts are removed.

There are reports suggest that mobile use can affect brain function and that radiation from the phones can cause DNA damage, though long term studies have yet to be done. If there are risks and we think there may be risk then the people who are going to be most affected are children, and the younger the child the greater the danger.

Children might be more vulnerable with their immature nervous system, greater absorption of energy and a longer lifetime exposure than adults. But understandably giving a cellphone to our children is a necessary security measure. So to minimize possible radiation hazards, study recommends that children under age nine should not use mobiles at all. Children nine and older should keep calls short, if possible, text instead of call. And, use a phone with a low emission rate, the manufacturer knows about this.

Seems like too much of good things can sometimes really be bad.

Where The Money Should Go

It really upsets me how we would budget for house renovations or save up for something only to have him come home with a brand new portable entertainment system! His justification was he bought it on 0% interest. He couldn't understand that what annoys me most is that he made such a big purchase without discussing it with me. There are other things that we could have bought with that money -things that the whole family would have enjoyed and not just him!

Often the source of conflict in marriage is when handling the family finances. Money and how to spend it is always a sensitive topic. Past generations saw the man of the house as the sole breadwinner and thus, the main decision maker. With dual-income households now the trend, more and more women believe that deciding how to spend the couple's earnings should be a shared responsibility. Problem is there are always have opposing ideas about where the money should go.

The way that a person values money may be attributed to his or her upbringing. If brought up thinking that saving for a rainy day is important, this person will probably be conscious about putting away money at regular intervals. It could be because of mismatched priorities. Different personalities have different priorities. The priorities are defined by one's own personality and taste rather than an objective assessment of the family's needs. A husband and a wife are still two unique individuals with different perspectives and would see things differently including how to spend the household budget.

In the end, there are no hard or fast rules to budgeting. It will vary from couple to couple, as everyone has their own set of values and priorities. The most important thing is to openly communicate so that decisions are made and goals are reached through a loving compromise.

Sharing Bed with Children

In our country, it is a common practice for parents to sleep in the same bed with their children. It is also the norm in many other cultures, and not just because of limited space. It is common in Japan, for example, where they emphasize the nurturing aspects of family life.

Children sleeping with parents is a universal practice, but it is more common in cultures where children are given a special place in the family. In most underdeveloped countries, it is logical to assume that it is their custom to do so because of the limited space in their homes. It is an emotionally healthy experience for both parents and children. Especially for today's busy families, the family bed may be the only place I can settle down for quiet bonding times with my child. For working parents it gives us a chance to bond a little with our children and to retrieve some time to be close and cuddle with our child. Physical contact is very beneficial to both parents and kids.

On the other hand, children sleeping with parents has its own share of drawbacks, especially in couple's relationship. No spontaneous sex. I'm worried that our lovemaking will wake our child. Its kind of natural form of family planning method, but seriously, it deprives couples privacy and bonding time. In some cases, parents use the family bed to avoid serious marital problems. As long as the child sleeps between them, it tends to mask the serious pitfalls and gives a false sense of security in a marriage.

However, this arrangement has to end at some point in our child's life. When the child starts showing signs of independence with night-time routines, it is perhaps the right time weaning them. Interestingly enough, sometimes its us parents who delays the weaning, unwillingly to give them the eviction notice. Separation anxiety can go both ways. If we fail to wean our child it gives the impression that we lack confidence in our child's capacity to cope or fend for himself. Some moms chose a time they think is best to move, and others prefer to leave that decision to the child. If its parent-prompted, it may require plenty of patience and time.

Getting our kids out of the bed is a long goodbye-emotional, sometimes painful, and liberating at the same time. But moving out need not signal an end to the intimacy established through bed sharing. It simply means replacing it with other nurturing and bonding activities.

Discipline Thing

My husband already prepared a plastic ruler to use whenever our one year old needs to be disciplined. Is this part of spanking? Moms and Dads has different responses of what spanking is but all seems to agree that spanking is hitting whether using bare hands or a thing. Is it right to spank? This has long been an issue for parents and educators. There are those who assert that it is right to spank, even going as far as quoting a Bible message "To spare the rod is to spoil the child." And then there are those, mostly from the field of child development, who will say that spanking will have a negative effect on the child in the long run.

Is there a need to spank? If rules are clearly established, and parents and other adults consistently follow through with the implementation and the consequences, then our children will know that there is such a thing as discipline or management at home. This simply means that they have to abide.

What is the right age to start disciplining our children? Discipline should start when the child is born. Discipline is a life long process. Better to set up a routine for infants. Basically, routine is already a part of discipline.

We should sit down with our spouses and have a heart to heart talk as to the discipline techniques we want to establish with our children, so both is consistent in implementing them. This way, we don't send conflicting messages to our kids.

Does TV has a positive influence in our child?

Over the years, parents admitted that they use TV to baby-sit their kids. Filipino children aged one-and-a-half upwards watched an average of four to six hours of TV a day - that's about half their waking hours, an average of 12 hours a day. For these kids, TV has become an electronic babysitter. Family Life and Child Development specialist said that there are serious trade-offs in rearing children this way, as watching TV does little to stimulate their brain development. They recommend limiting their viewing time to no more than 15 to 30 minutes a day.

Most TV Programs including cartoons which are supposedly suitable for children, carry sexual, aggressive and violent content. TV is packed also with advertisements that promote consumerism and unhealthy habits such as smoking, drinking and eating junk foods. If its learning we Moms after, why don't we let our toddler play instead. These has been proven to be the best way young children learn. Play stimulates all five senses, whereas watching TV stimulates only two- and not in an entirely good way at that. The fast cutting of images can be visually jarring, and the noise desensitizes children to the different sounds around them.

Another foundation for learning is the ability to concentrate - a habit of mind formed in early childhood. Study shows that children who watch too much TV have difficulty completing tasks in school, let alone focusing on the task at hand. TV gets in the way of habits of mind. Study also shows that excessive and inappropriate TV viewing excerbates the symptoms of learning disabilities and attention deficit disorders. A child who is read to and conversed with has a definite language advantage over a child left to watch TV.

Toddlers need movement as their muscles and sensory-motor skills are developing at a very fast rate. Clearly, leaving them to lounge around in front of the TV does not support this development, and we might be unwittingly turning them into couch potatoes very early on. Another unhealthy habit toddlers might acquire from their parents and caregivers is eating while watching TV. Excessive TV viewing coupled with uncontrolled snacking has also been known to lead to weight problems in both adults and children. To prevent this from happening to our child, train them to eat and to watch TV separately.

Research further shows that in early brain development, toddlers have a critical need for direct human interactions. This allows them to develop appropriate social and emotional skills and lays the foundation for establishing relationships with people. When children spend lots of time interacting with TV characters, they might confuse the real world with the simulated world of TV. A telltale sign is when they talk mostly about TV characters instead of real people and events.

In the end, its our choice whether TV becomes a positive or a negative influence in a child's life. We are not saying that TV has no value. It can be a part of a learning environment, but it can never take the place of a parent. Watching our toddler's TV viewing habits and seeing to it that he develops healthy ones -will contribute greatly to his successful overall development. Finally, whenever we choose to let our child watch TV, be careful that the TV does not end up watching our child.